Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
