He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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