By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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