i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
