It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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