I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
