eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The beer is more important than you right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
false alarm, still single
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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