Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
