i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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