Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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