She's JV to your varsity
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
