I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
