He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize