I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
