Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
