Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
