Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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