If i come over, it means nothing
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
