So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
