"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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