just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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