I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
How's work?
Spinning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
