I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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