I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hippo gnu deer
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
