oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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