Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
