Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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