As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We named our party play list daddy issues
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
