And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
