so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My pussy is not your playground.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
