My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
