ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
