i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Are we still banned from the library?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
