she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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