You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
