Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
