The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
