Define "chronic" masturbator.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
