At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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