dude i'm inner monologue high
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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