glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
