That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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