took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
