It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
