No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
