i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
