Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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