Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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