Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
