so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just gargled with NyQuil
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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