Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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