Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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