If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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