found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
