I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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