some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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