I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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