I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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